Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Busy....when does it all slow down?

My mind has been racing so much lately. I have so many thoughts, and really can't put them all to words to make since. But it is so amazing to me that it seems like every time I have all these overwhelming emotions and questions, God answers. I haven't yet had one of those times where I think God just talks to me. You know those moments you wait on. People talk about them, they say it was like nothing they could of ever imagined experiencing, but God spoke to them.

Well he answers me frequently, and when he does it is like a swarm of belief and awe come over me.

Tonight at small group, our leader Josh was asking us if we feel busy. He was trying to explain how he just has had this question hanging over him like asking why he is so busy and what can he do to slow it down. I felt at that moment like I was hearing exactly what I needed to hear at the time. Life is busy, kids are busy, marriage is busy! But really have I gotten so busy I forgot to slow down for God.

It is something I can't fully explain, and my not of made since up to this point, but my ramblings help me get it all out so I can sort through and make sense. We talked through what helps others slow down and ways to just be alone with God, it was so refreshing. I read the other day an email where this mom questioned her way of living so far. She said she got very sick all of a sudden and had to go to the hospital. She said while they were running all the tests and trying to help her heart slow, she realized this could be the end. And she wondered what her kids would remember last about her. Was she to busy doing laundry to play toys, was she getting the floors swept so she couldn't go outside, was she so stressed paying bills that she didn't see their laughter. She had become a "No" mom. If she died her kids would remember her being to busy. That hit me so hard as I looked at my own kids playing alone because I had so much laundry to fold.

Life isn't simplistic anymore. There are so many gadgets and things to help simplify that I almost feel they are what makes it worse. When all in all, I can really get down to the nity grity in my life and see what my priorities are and what needs to be around. I would free up time without so much to keep me busy if I remembered to prioritize, and number one on that list is God. I want to be that mom that smiles, that wife that glows, and the daughter in Christ who dances in rejoice. I know it is ramblings, but so much lately in media and real "reality" has been about busy lives. I'm glad I got to talk with my group tonight about it all, it took a load off just speaking the word about it.

On another note, Kensley's last day of pre-school is tomorrow. The year has flown by and another chapter in our lives is ending. This summer I have been dreading for a long time. Well to be exact the day I became a mother. I have kept track of the summers I had until my baby started school. Well the time is here, and it officially begins tomorrow. This summer, I'm gonna be a "Yes" mom, no matter how high the laundry gets piled up!!!

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