Tuesday, August 19, 2008

First Day of Preschool

Well our little baby has officially gone to preschool. Today is her first day, and she was so excited this morning. When I woke her up, I thought I would be battling a bear, like I usually do every morning. However, her first words were "Yeah, today is school!!" I was completely shocked and so happy for her at the same time.

I stayed up tossing and turning all night, thinking back on when she was first born. It seems like yesterday, Cabe and I were setting up the bassinet thinking about what she would be like.

I never realized how fast she would grow up. I think of everything people told us, more advice came on how to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast. But really how does anyone hold on to that time? Each day will come and go, and each day they are growing. I can't stop her growing, though sometimes I feel like it would be so much easier if I could just hang on a little longer. However I can be thankful that we have been blessed with everyday we have been together. Life sometimes has so many questions that seem so hard to answer. I am a chronic worrier by nature, as is Kensley. I see in her traits from me, that I hoped she wouldn't have. I hoped that she would be a carefree spirit that didn't think about things and just lived. However she is like me and we plan, we see the future not the now. It is a prayer of mine that we could live for in the now, because that is where God has placed us. He gave us a past and he can give us a future, but at the moment he is looking at now. He is seeing how we are living through him right now. He doesn't care if a week ago we were strayed and tomorrow we will be on path. He cares that we see what he is giving us right now.

God gave me the most beautiful blessing in Kensley! I think back on her as a tiny baby, and her moments as a toddler, and now as a preschooler. But all that really matters is that God blessed me, he truly did when me decide I would be Kensley's mom. He knew exactly how she would be and how she would bring so much joy to my life. I am so sad to see my little baby grow and leave for school, but God is giving her wings and seeing what she is doing now.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but for this journey Kensley and I are both about to take, I hope to embrace it and gracefully handle all emotions.

She made me feel alot better this morning by being so happy to go to school. I really don't know how I would have been, had she of cried for me and not wanted to go. God amazes me, and he knows just what to do.

I dropped her off in her class, and she marched right in with that head high and ready to but her backpack in her cubby. She loved her outfit I made her and even asked this morning if she could have an apple birthday so she could wear it again. Also she really enjoyed shopping for all her school stuff. I don't know if she just liked the shopping part, or if it was all the little items she got to get for school. She loved that she would be caring a "real" backpack to school. Klay thinks he needs one too, since Sissy gets to carry one. She loved laying out her stuff to pack her backpack and this morning she held on tight to it the whole way to school. I couldn't even get her out of the car, before she was trying to put her backpack on. Oh what a big girl she has become!

Yes I got emotional after I dropped her off, and yes I am keeping a very close eye on that clock. But I know that my little girl walked very proudly into her class this morning with head held high, and I couldn't be more happy for her courage. She is so shy, and that is one of the main reasons behind the decision to send her to preschool. But like everything, life swings in all different directions and she just may turn into a social butterfly, who has more courage than mommy.

Klay too, was sad to see his sissy leave. He kept telling me to go back in the school and get her. It isn't often we are in the car or anywhere without her. He held my hand with a sad little look on his face, while I cried. I think he would of cried too, but he is such a little man, he said I'll kiss it better mommy! Ah, melt my heart!

Mothers and daughters are a lot alike. Sometimes I think that is for the good, and sometimes for the bad. However I think there is wisdom to learn from both. She can teach me things about life that I didn't know. And I can show her how to grow to be a strong woman. I think next year is going to hit me very hard, and it will be here before I know it.

Like today, there will be another first. But I am so so so humbled to have firsts and to see her grow. She is amazing, and Mommy and Daddy couldn't be more proud of her.


csoffos said...

Kensley is such an angel. I know it is hard to see her grow up, but with each and every age, there are moments to cherish.  Kensley and Klay give me so much joy, too.  They are truly two amazing kids!  I love them to death!  Kensley, you look so sweet in this photo.  Your apple shirt is to die for.  I know you will LOVE school and your teachers will continue to be amazed at your smartness and your wonderful personality.  I know you will make a lot of friends!  I can't wait to hear about each and every one of them.  I love you sweatheart!  Keep smiling and the world will smile back.  Mimi

LeeAnn said...

I just had to tear up when I read this. She is such a beautiful wonderful little girl. And you are a beautiful wonderful mother to kensley and Klayton. Try not to be sad when you think of your kids growing up but enjoy each stage they are in because it is all beautiful. Even when they get to be an adult its not a mother/child relationship but more of a friendship then. I am so glad you are able to be at home with your children. I know it is hard sometimes to take care of children all day but it is harder to leave them to go work outside the home. This is a time you will look back on and cherish because you were there for them. the pics of Klayton were so cute. Every time I look at him I see little Cabe. Such a good memory. Love you all